Kimaya Crolla-Younger

Awaken Deeper


The Ordinariness of Power

Posted by Kimaya Crolla-Younger on March 23, 2014 at 9:40 AM


When I talk to friends and clients about Through the Portals, I often hear a fear response from those who haven’t tried conscious play in the context of BDSM before. This response fascinates me, particularly in terms of how we are in everyday life. Take the example of working in a corporate office. I listen to clients days in the office, and pretty much the gist of every story is about power; who’s got it, who wants it, who’s a victim to it. It reminds me of Dr Eric Berne and his book, Games People Play. (Read a little extract here.)

I hear stories of how inadequate the boss is, and how much more competent the storyteller is (I think this is the most common office story!). I hear stories of tyrants and the down trodden, loyal employee. And if you work in service, how much sh*it you have to put up with. Each and every story is generally an unconscious example of power, and it’s not much fun by the sounds of it. Unconscious in this context meaning there has not been any consenting discussion between the adults involved. It’s somehow accepted and we all put up with it. Ain’t that crazy?!

So, let me ask you this…how would you like to play with power? In a conscious way, with consenting adults??

An exciting workshop that I co-facilitate with the wonderful London Faerie and Claire Black of Sacred Pleasures, called Through The Portals, an adventure playground of a weekend in the arena of conscious sexuality, tantra and BDSM, is such a place to try playing with power. And you know what? It’s gloriously fun!

Putting a few simple things in place, such as talking about personal boundaries, likes and dislikes, desires and the most fun bit is trying out things you’ve never done before. How about consciously playing the tyrant? Consciously playing the victim? I found that relaxing into the boundary of the exercise facilitates such a sweet discovery to sides of myself that were clamouring for expression and didn’t know how before! To play in a way that’s safe, connected and conscious.

Safety is a key element here. In the office scenarios above, there is little sense of safety. In Through the Portals, it works because it’s safe. The joyous looks on participants faces is such a treat. Such a surge in energy, in a way that sadly we don’t experience in ‘real’ life so often. Playfulness and power is where it’s at! Come join me Through the Portals!


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