Kimaya Crolla-Younger

Awaken Deeper

Life Change Intensive 28 Nov-3 Dec

A Five Day Residential in a Polish Forest Retreat Centre

In the transformative magic of an Immersive group experience, focused on that One Secret Thing that you wish would change, but never does, engaging (with) it at the level of body intelligence, where you can take away brand new perspectives and grounded, personalised tools that cultivate an ongoing intimacy with the most important person there is – YOU! (Bring your most precious beliefs about yourself, if you’re lucky, you might leave without them :))

An immersive group experience can reach the parts nothing else can

How can this be? If you’re anything like me, a bit of an island, always feeling like the outsider, having tried a lot of modalities, one to one therapy, read all the self help and spiritual books. I even studied and became a psychotherapist, I was so thirsty for knowledge; I wanted to really understand the impact of my early life.

A remarkable amount of the time I found, being human wasn't easy. There’s this great quote, I think it might be from Robert Holden,

“If there’s something missing in your life, it’s usually you.

In fact, my first experience of being in a group were these large, amazing workshops in London, 20 years ago now, based on the principles of A Course in Miracles (Robert was often there too). I got a lot from them, but also they seemed rather staged. I mention at the top of this letter the magic of being in a group, and this can certainly be true. If you join this event, you may have first hand experience of this. But, at least how I see it, life is a combination of magic and ordinary, and how we are with the ordinary, is more important than how we are with the magic.

I had had many an experience of workshop leaders making ridiculous false promises (an intro to NLP workshop who said they could cure depression in four sessions. Just dangerous and misinformed, apart from anything else, the leader seemed very anxious).

Then there’s the superstar guru workshop leaders; nothing wrong with that, but I find myself judging the frenzy they whip the group up into, and wonder how that is for them some weeks after the event, and usually several thousand dollars lighter. The workshops I mentioned I went to 20 years ago, whilst I got a lot from them, I went to many over a five year period spending around £20,000. I realise that the facilitator, not once, came up to me and said hello. For me, it’s the humanity of a person that reaches me, which if I think about this further, this is what heals me, and most importantly, makes me feel that perhaps I’m not alone after all.

My experience of family and early life were deeply traumatising, particularly as I was so sensitive; could it be that what I was looking for were humans that felt actually human to me? And not fake, unavailable and on some kind of pedestal?

For me, I was looking for more than someone who could deliver a bunch of tools that may or may not work. I was looking for mentors who actually embodied what they were teaching. (rather than looking all shiny on the workshop, then going home and being mean to their spouse and kicking the dog). In fact, were they even teaching anything at all? Or just being themselves, and the group wanted to be around them?

I kept looking. I even spent a year in India. Then I discovered an amazing meditation community called Osho Leela in Dorset. I liked their approach, it was refreshing, fun.

A recurring theme for me was always noticing how different I felt whenever I was in any group setting. I did the first year of their Humaniversity training, an immersive group experience, and was amazed to discover after these groups that I noticed how similar I was to others; how connected I felt. How I could be in the present moment.

This was the way

It was priceless for me, as I noticed how every single group member was valuable for me in some way. Like a hall of mirrors!

Life happens outside of therapy sessions and workshops, when we’ve not got our ‘face’ on.

In a previous Life Change program, one participant was very withdrawn and silent in the main group, and I also got a sense that he would be easily frightened away. On day 3 I approached him just to say that I didn’t know, I couldn’t tell how he was doing, and I could see how challenging it was for him to be in the group. I maintained quite a big distance from him and this seemed to help him breath. I said that he could have some time with me on his own, but that he would have to approach me and ask me for this. He understood. A couple of days later, around midnight, I was in my pyjamas and brushing my teeth. I could feel a presence in the bathroom with me and it made me turn. It was him, and he asked if he could meet me the next day. Him approaching me in this way was a big step for him.

Here is a story based on a previous participant

The One Secret Thing

“You have got to be one of the most horrible people I have ever had to work with. It is a total misery to be around you! What I want to know is, how have you got away with it for so long?”

These were the very words I said to an old boss of mine, when I worked in a large bank in the City of London, 25 years ago. Here was a man who had lived what we could say was a very privileged life. And, man, was he unhappy about it!

My words stunned him. He came up to me a couple of hours later and said “No-one has ever spoken to me like that”. I replied, “I know, and it’s time they did!” He thanked me and I suggested he take some time out to get to know himself, to see where he was not making choices that made his heart sing.

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