Kimaya Crolla-Younger

Awaken Deeper

"It's Safe Now" - Life Beyond Complex Trauma  | A Gentle Experiential Day in Exploring New Possibilities of Embodied Wholeness for Spiritually Sensitive People | 1st December, 11-6.30pm, North London | **Early Bird £85** until 22.11.18

Why do we struggle with intimacy so much?

Whether we are aware of it or not, many of us are affected by trauma, and this trauma is mainly touched upon when we move towards one another in intimacy. As our hearts open, everything else starts to open too and we may find ourselves behaving in odd ways, maybe ways we don’t understand, have no control over, and it all becomes too much, we shut down, run away or lash out. We become afraid and harden our hearts. Just at the very moment when the tears come that would soften us, we pull back and do something mean.

Wouldn’t you like to live beyond these seeming limitations?

We now know of intergenerational trauma, that has been passed to us, to our nervous system, which affects us in many everyday situations. Many people I’ve worked with said that they haven’t had any experience of trauma, but this was not the case as their sessions unfolded. Other’s are so identified with ‘trauma’ that it colours their whole lives.

What is trauma anyway? When we experience something as overwhelming, we literally ‘leave our senses’. When I speak with people, the general thinking on trauma is you’ve had an experience: an accident, been in a war; someone has done something to you, but trauma is way more complex and nuanced. If we are very open, or particularly sensitive, we can experience our guardians behaviour as traumatic. Many who would say they have had a normal childhood, due to their sensitivity (and likely genetic leanings), have experienced a high degree of trauma and are completely unaware of this; living with difficulties that they think are who they are, that seem normal to them, but in fact these difficulties are not natural.

In my own life, about 10 years ago, I became aware of a belief I had “There are some things you just can’t heal”, whilst at the same time my devotion to awakening was stronger than ever.

What is the real truth about trauma? Who would you be without it?

When we start to dig deeper than the surface of ourselves, in such a way that we begin to explore previously unexpressed parts, whether that be with a therapist or counsellor, or perhaps ongoing group work...our nervous system is going to respond - maybe your heart will race - you feel excited; or you hold your breath. However, if you have a past history of trauma, you may respond by wanting to run away, or if you can’t run, by freezing the soft tissues in the body.

For those dedicated to awakening, come and inquire, We need to gently find a way to include our tendencies and patterns of trauma in our awakening, not leave them compartmentalised in our psyches. For when our nervous system seems to be in a repetitive pattern of fight, flight or freeze; how can we learn to move towards ourselves, to resolve what was/is overwhelming? In intimacy, to be able to recognise when we are gripped in a trauma response and find ways to respond beyond our familiar.

A common reason we experience trauma (something that overwhelms us), is we didn’t have an ability to ‘hold’ the experience for ourselves, nor an adult to be with us, and it could well be that the adult that should have been there for us, triggered a trauma response instead. This gentle day looks at our own trauma tendencies...and how to build the intimacy that we long for; our ability to ‘hold’ ourselves; the antidote to the recurring abandonment that continually replays in our responses. What if we could unite everything that seems separate (in us) and keeps this thing called ‘trauma’ as something running on autopilot? To lovingly include it in our experience.

We will touch on many areas,
• Taming Trauma - Being with what is, Inner resource building.
• Get to know your unique traumatic imprint
• Inquiry - Who would you be without the trauma? A deepening in the perception of what is.
• Discover how to be with overwhelm and terror.
• This day is to bring awareness to the behaviours and tendencies we assign to ‘trauma’ that have become normal but they are not natural.
• ‘That’s just how I am’. Heard yourself say this? Curious about the truth about it?
• Restoring connection with ourselves and our own boundaries.
• Learn how to recognise and interrupt our thinking, reactivity and physiological trauma symptoms & engage them directly, skillfully, and with an open heart.
• If you are a practitioner, are we keeping our clients victims?
• Strategies to help tolerate distress after trauma.

But how?

Going deeper than trauma: I created Transpersonal Somatics, a five pillared approach to trauma resolution and spiritual awakening that slowly emerged from my fifteen years as a Transpersonal psychotherapist.

The Five Pillars to Take us Deeper
I collectively call the pillars, a Transpersonal Somatic perspective.

1. Cultivate the Witness: The Witness is also a sense of Deep Presence within oneself, deeper than the surface dramas of life, the part of you that is aware of everything — just noticing, watching, listening, not judging, just staying present.

2. Develop Discernment: You are not your beliefs / you are not your story. : The witness allows you to experience some spaciousness both in your thinking and your self-talk; to begin to see your beliefs and stories when they appear. Yesterday they just seemed to run on auto-pilot but today? You can begin to see that those beliefs aren’t necessarily true.

3. Stay in the body: This works before we are experiencing a panic attack, or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The body and our psyches ‘cope’ with overwhelming experiences by literally leaving the body. Basically the emotional brain has been triggered and gone into ‘fight freeze or flight’, feeling that life is a constant threat to survival, whilst bypassing the cognitive mind. So firstly you have to have the experience of feeling safe in your body again. It took me many, many years to cultivate embodiment (which I refer to as ‘living in the internal space of ourselves’).

4. “It’s safe now”: False Evidence Appearing Real & the armoured self - reconnective healing. Those with early trauma tend to have big protection, perhaps subtle, perhaps not. Probably a mixture of the two. If our boundaries were consistently crossed by our guardians, we needed the protection to survive. However, it’s safe now. And there needs to be a conscious decision, time and again, to no longer protect yourself.

By seeking out reconnective, restorative healing environments…you are continually reminding yourself that ‘It’s Safe Now…’

5. Free the breath: The next time you are gripped by anxiety or trauma, notice what happens to your breathing? Most people are not very conscious of how they breath. We tend to shallow breath, and this acts as a strategy to suppress our feelings. However, part of the trauma response that we create, often includes a constricted breathing pattern. A drug free method of healing, breathwork is one of the most powerful methods of healing ourselves; gaining more oxygen and a more relaxed nervous system can help you break out of current restrictions and say ‘Yes’ to life.

It was once believed the brain couldn’t change. Since the early 90s, we now know that the human brain is able to grow new brain cells in the memory centre of the brain, throughout life, and this was previously considered impossible. We’re able to make new connections; we can rewire the brain. This is profoundly empowering!

• Taming Trauma - Being with what is (in relation to fight, flight or freeze response) and a habitual identification with “something’s wrong”, Inner resource building.

• Discover how to be with overwhelm and terror as it arises.

When you are in intimate, attuned contact with your own trauma response, an inner holding field emerges. There is an example from my own life, 3 years ago, that beautifully demonstrates the pillars in action here https://www.dakinikimaya.com/transpersonal-somatics.

The key is ‘relaxation, Cultivating the embodiment of the 5 pillars, leads to a place where, perhaps for the first time, you begin to truly relax.

What is living a bigger life? The possibilities are endless! If you are no longer walking around with a tight grip of yourself (whether that’s a tight mental grip, or tight bodily contractions), you will be able to feel the world more, and people will be able to feel you.

This day is unique, with us exploring our tendencies to react and leave ourselves, as well as look at how to move closer, as we learn to hold ourselves in the here and now. One of our tendencies to develop is to drop the psychological labels we put on each other, and we’ll spend some time languaging this. Particularly in the British culture, the tendency is to hide behind a polite face, but what we avoid or suppress starts to dull our life force. Being with our more difficult feelings, such as shame, recognising it’s presence will open our hearts to forgiveness and restoration.

How?
I am passionate on the theme of bringing any experience of past trauma into the wholeness of our current lives; the work is shaped from my own traversing through the landscapes of anger and complex trauma, and over fifteen years in private practice as a transpersonal psychotherapist, coach and group facilitator.

We will be gently diving into the nuances of our own personal landscapes, by coming into the present moment in each of the pillars, in the group as a whole, solo practice and small groups of 3 or 4, with body-based exercises and techniques (guided meditations that bring you into the body), some sharing and discussion, movement and meditation, where we discover how to fully land in ‘It’s Safe Now’ in our lives and relationships. Taking away powerful tools from the 5 Pillars to integrate into life. Also drawing from somatic and mindful therapies such as Somatic Experiencing, The Hakomi Method and Dr Shakti Malan’s Totality Therapy.

Morning Schedule

“It’s Safe Now” - The morning is about two topics, firstly feeling safe and secondly, bringing into awareness personal tendencies where past trauma affects the present day. We will use some guided meditation and energy psychology. With discussion and gentle exploration about your (unique) tendencies of trauma, not by focusing on the story of it (though this will inevitably happen;, but by how it shows up currently in life, in relationship, in the present moment; along the lines of how it affects your thoughts, breath, bodily sensations and behaviour - whether you go into fight, flight or freeze. Thinking/speaking about it in a mindful way. A wise man once said 'Know Thyself', especially in terms of your own, let's say, inner trauma imprint so that, over the course of a lifetime (it takes that long, and we have a few precious hours!), you get to know your personal tendencies, how sensations arise in the body (often after sitting with years of numbness), you discover such a richness and depth that has a tone unique to you. We will start in the group as a whole, then break out into small groups. Note: at no point will there be any deliberate trauma re-enactment. You don’t have to have lots of answers; this space is one of discovery, a gentle stretch. I shall be sharing lots of examples and tips on languaging. Did I say yet that it’s fun too?!

A short lunch break - bring your own (45 mins).

Afternoon Schedule

“Life Beyond Complex Trauma” we look at the 5 pillars of Transpersonal Somatics, trying out practices from each one. I will also give you a recording from each pillar to take away with you.

Whilst I share a lot of information from various trauma and somatic therapies, the foundation of this day is experiential; based on experience and observation - for you to discover for yourself, otherwise things stay as a concept and we remain in the world of psychology, and we are so much more than this.

WHO IS THIS FOR? Professional or layman alike, those dedicated to awakening, wanting to have more union with body, mind and spirit. Where trauma has felt like something fixed, something separate, and something unknown. Embodied Advaita! (non-duality).

TO BOOK: **Early Bird** £85 Until 22nd November, by using the PayPal link at the bottom of the page. Or PM me if you would like to make a bank transfer instead. Once I've received your payment I will send you the participant information to your PayPal email address. Please share with friends and colleagues ♥

Pricing from 23rd November
Concession: £98
Regular Price: £120

The concessionary price is for those who earn less, otherwise please choose the regular price.
*** I encourage you to BOOK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE if you feel called to join. Numbers are limited; this workshop is a held space and trauma sensitive.***

More information about the 5 Pillars
https://www.dakinikimaya.com/transpersonal-somatics

Please drop me an email if you have any questions to kimaya@dakinikimaya.com.
Individual sessions in person in London, and Skype internationally http://www.dakinikimaya.com/offerings


TO BOOK: **Early Bird** £85 Until 22nd November.